Foundation

One of the foundational tenets of leadership is the idea of "Complain up, explain down", although I prefer "complain up, explain out". So what does this mean?

What?

The basic idea is:

• Complaints (or issues that you cannot resolve) go up, never down, and rarely sideways. In other words, you should never complain about something to the people and teams that report to you. Even so, complaining up should also be done carefully. You should never seek to attack a team or person for who they are or even what they are doing, rather, complaining or venting frustration should always be done with the goal of understanding what the underlying issues are, and how to resolve or work through the situation.
• Explain down (or explain out). Rather than complaining to your teams or your direct reports, share with them the decisions or reasoning that led to the issue or problem is causing you frustration.

Why?

Hopefully this is obvious, but it you complain, the people and teams that report to you might begin to copy your behavior. If you are complaining about a particular team or (even worse) an individual, you will likely end up damaging your relationship with that team or that person.

In the long term, complaining about others will only serve to create a toxic environment.

The Parent Trap

There's a similar idea with parenting. You should never complain about one of your children to another child. Rather, your frustrations with your children should be discussed with your partner, or perhaps with your parent(s).